Is anyone out there?????

Cold enough out there for you????

I know... I know... I'm a bad blogger. I've been gone way to long. Just to catch everyone up, if there is still anyone out there who looks to see if I wrote anything.... My uterine biopsy was clear, Yeah!!!!!!!!!! Then I had THE Mammogram. They thought they saw two spots that shouldn't have been there. So, they send me to have a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. I want to once again, but now for the world to see, thank SMB. It's great when someone in the family knows all about how all this mammogram, ultrasound, etc goes in regards to your boobs. I even broke down and called her at work one day. Thank you, thank you, thank you SMB. So they did the diagnostic and the ultrasound and even though it took them over an hour, they also confirmed they saw two spots, so now they want me to get a biopsy. So once again I'm going to SMB asking all these questions and she answered all my questions. Have I mentioned how wonderful I think SMB is lately? Well test results back, they only found one spot and they biopsied that one and IT's clear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So my boob is now healing and it itches...... So besides worrying about all of that and the regular every day working, cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes and laundry.... that's all I've been doing. Nothing exciting yet, but I'm staying busy. Hope you all are surviving the winter. I'll leave you with some pictures of our wonderful winters in Indiana...

What is happening with my body????

Ok gentlemen, unless you want to read about the internal workings of women, stop reading and go somewhere else. That said, I need to hear from those of you that are going through what I'm going through. I've already written about my body and how it does whatever it feels like doing whenever it feels like doing it. I went to my PA last month and she had me schedule an ultrasound to get some more information on what is going on with my uterus. I must say the internal ultrasound was quite an experience. Like a dildo camera. Such fun. So I get a call today and I have a cyst on one of my ovaries and there is a thickening of my uterus wall. I need to schedule and appointment for my yearly papst, plus they are going to biopsy my uterin wall. Thanks and we'll see you on the 26th... She left me hanging... So me being me, I go to the wonderful world of the internet and type in thickening of the uterus wall. I read cancer, I read common, I read hysterectomy, I read chemo and read just about everything in between. Now I'm a smart person and I'm not going hysterical because I MIGHT have cancer or I might need a hysterectomy, but I'm only 46. I've only experienced maybe a handful of hot flashes in the last couple of years. My sister who is older than me by 18 months has had a ton of female and internal problems, but no one has mentioned a hysterectomy to her. I guess I want to know if any of you have experienced this. How about the biopsy? Does it hurt. According to what I read, they have to dialate my cervix and go in and cut a piece of my uterin wall. This has to hurt. If I have a hysterectomy, I'm only 46... how long will I have to be off work? Last time I knew someone that had a hysterctomy, she was off for 6 weeks. I can't afford to be off work for 6 weeks. Have procedures gotten better. I called my mom and she says its like getting your appendix out now a days. Yeah right! My son had to have an emergency appendectomy and he was tinting his windows of his truck the same evening. I don't think I'm going to be that lucky. Do I have to go on hormones now? What's that like? I know these are questions I will be asking my PA, but that's 10 days from now. Can someone give me a glimpse of what I'm going to be going through? I hope so. Thanks for taking the time to read about my life. You're all great!

My ramblings...

Reading all your different posts has guilted me into trying to make at least one resolution for 2009. I'm taking my inspiration from "Twenty Four at Heart". I'm in definite agreeance with her that excluding that fact that I found my "Ace of Hearts" and married him, the past 3 years have sucked. So my resolution is to make 2009 the happiest it has ever been for Ace of Hearts and myself. That is as far as I'm going to take my resolution making. Very basic. That way I can build on it as the year continues on.

I've only been blogging for a very short while, but for the few of you that have been with me from the beginning, I hope you see an improvement in my writing ability. Or maybe its the fact that I'm loosening up a bit. I also have the privilege of being cousins with SMB. It's been so many years since I've seen her... I've never even met her kids and her oldest is 24.... I have to confess, I missed the last family reunion, but I was sent a lot of pictures. It was selfish on my part. I had already made an appointment to get my old tattoo covered with a new one and I had a date... Yes a date! For anyone that has known me at any point in my life, I wasn't nor ever was a dater until after my divorce. I didn't date in high school or college. It's a really long story, but suffice it to say, I had my first real date when I was 43. So getting my old tattoo covered, was my way of closing a chapter on the old me, and starting my new life. It's actually a cool tattoo. It's a beautiful rose and in the vines above and below the rose are the names of my two sons. I love it. And just having a date was a big deal to me... so I missed the reunion, which I kick myself for now, because who knows if the entire family will ever get together ever again.... I can only hope.

Sorry about my rambling and jumping from one subject to the next, but I'm at work and I'm not in the mood to be here and my brain is running from one subject to the next and I'm just trying to keep up. I started this post because of three things: I wanted to share my New Years Resolution with you, I wanted to show off one of my favorite pictures of my sons and then just because.... So I've told my resolution, now here's my favorite picture:

They look so sweet and innocent don't they... I love this picture. Now look at them...

My youngest and me:

My oldest and his (may as well be...) his fiance.

They are men now!!!! I'm ready for them to be off and on with their life, but there is still that part of me that wants the little guys back. I know the moms out there understand what I'm saying. I'm ready for my freedom, but I'm having a hard time cutting those apron strings that have been wrapped around my sons and myself for the last 22 years. I've been told that the worrying part about being a parent never goes away... (which is a real bummer). But I have to learn to let them make their own mistakes (and fix those mistakes). I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but I have no choice... Onward and upward as the saying goes.

Well, I guess I should actually get some work done today... 3 more hours and I can go home!!!!

My body

It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! Let me just advise any of you reading this post today, if you aren't pre-menopausal, menopausal or post-menopausal, you'll just think I'm going crazy and just stop reading this particular post.

OK, I understand that I'm getting older. I take comfort in reading many of your posts because you are going through the same things I am, or have been through the same things I'm going through. You can comisserate with me. It really is nice to be able to share my pain with so many of you. Really...

I've decided my body hates me. Now, I accept the fact that I'm getting older and my body is changing. I can deal with that. It's my body's timing that needs to be reset. I've read so many posts about hormones, hot flashes and mustaches, but my biggest pain in all of this is "My dreaded period"!!!!!! Let me give you some examples of the timing of my body:

1) The day before my wedding, I start...
2) Luckily my body decided to skip the whole month of October, which I genuinely appreciate since I went on my honeymoon in October
3) Pay back in November. 3 weeks and 2 days worth of pay back
4) Tomorrow is my 46th birthday, New Years Eve and there will be no kids in the house all night. Guess what just started today???? 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count....

My body hates me. I swear it knows when there are not going to be any teenagers around and then it decides "It's time"!!!!! Does anyone feel my pain???? My FRUSTRATION!!!!!

Now most of you can see why my post from yesterday was so depressing and hormonie...... On the day before I start, I'm about as nice to be around as a pile of dog crap... Seriously... You look at me the wrong way and I'll either claw you're eyes out or start crying or most of the time both....

Back to work... I just had to get that off my chest!

After Christmas blahs...

I don't know about you guys, but I've been in a real bummer mood today. It might be that I had to go back to work or it might be that my mom and dad left for Florida yesterday for the winter or it might just be that Ace and I have worked our butts off on Christmas baskets for the last 2 months and now Christmas is over... I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one that's going through this. I know there are people that are out there that get depressed just because the holidays are coming. For me, the anticipation of the holidays is what gives me the energy to "Get R Done.." I also glad to see that I'm not the only one that hasn't had the time to post lately. I've only had time to read a couple of your posts in the last month. But I'll get caught up. Actually I wanted to unveil a couple of our baskets that I went on about forever.
















I also wanted to show our picture window frames, built by my wonderful husband. The pictures are of our honeymoon in the Smokeys. It looks like you are looking out a window and all you can see are the Smokeys.




I have to pat myself on the back, and Ace's too, when it comes to our Christmas Smokey Mountain gift baskets. We had the window picture frame, homemade noodles, a package 0f country biscuit mix, homemade apple butter and a jar of homemade cocoa that is soooooooooo good and creamy. I'll have to share it with you when it gets really cold outside. (That would be about 10 degrees for those of us who love to experience all fours seasons). On my next post I'll show the Christmas presents from last year. I think you'll appreciate it. Until then, Happy Holidays and be safe!

Noodles

Well four dozen eggs and 12 pounds of flour later, I'm three quarters of the way through making noodles. I ran out of space... These have to dry 3 or 4 days before I can package them up. Plus I have to flip them twice a day and cover them with more flour. So far I've invested about 4 1/2 hours on these. Is it worth it! YES! My family loves there packages of noodles. They expect it now. I finally got my mom's marble rolling pin. I'll have to take a picture of that prize. I've been trying to get this rolling pin from my mom for almost 20 years. Ace says I should keep it because I'm the family noodle maker now, but I think my mom might be having withdrawal symptons from not having her rolling pin. She doesn't like the one I switched her for. Mines about 15 years old and about 10 years ago I put "Husband Tamer" on it with a black sharpie and you can still see it. I'll have to get a picture of the two rolling pins to really see the difference. I talked to mom tonight and she told me to keep it for the winter, since they'll be in Florida until April (Said with a snarl and I'm so jealous).


I wanted to give you quick update on A1. Here's his surgery day picture



Feeling the pain. Not a happy camper at all. But he's doing much better. Has a lot more rotation in his shoulder also. This is a picture of him at his football awards banquet last night.


So there's my quick update. Need to finish putting the polyurethane on our Christmas projects. I can't wait to show you our baskets. One comment though: I've been reading all kinds of articles about the recession and how everyone needs to simplify everything with homemade gifts to conserve on the old budget. I've known this secret for so many years. There is so much satisfaction in giving someone a present that you have made and to tell you the truth, you spend as much on the Christmas projects as you would going out and buying a present, but there is really no ownership or pride attached. You spent money for something someone else made. People are learning the pleasure of making their Christmas presents and I truly believe they will be amazed at the faces on the receivers of those presents. I'd rather have a homemade present that cost $10 then a store bought gift that I'll probably lose or break anyway.

Keep it up ladies! Christmas is getting closer. Christmas is going to be grrrrrrreat this year!

Christmas time! I love it! I've been reading all your blogs and how crazy Christmas time is. We have this to do and that to do and if we don't do these things then nothing else will get done... But we love it! Admit it! You love the challenge of getting it all done. That extra hour you spent after the kids went to bed, adjusting the lights and ornaments the kids had just finished putting up, just because you know where everything should be to look just right. You also have to find that perfect hiding spot for all the presents, because we know if we left it up to our husbands to find a hiding spot, the presents would be in the coat closet with a sign "DO NOT TOUCH OR ELSE". Such cleverness from the male species. We work on homemade crafts or foods we can give as gifts with the knowledge that everyone thinks we are so clever and we bask in the glow. And why do we do this to ourselves???? The only answer I've ever been able to come up with is that we've watched our mothers do this every Christmas and we MUST carry on the tradition... Sorry if there are males out there that are taking offense to what I'm writing, but deep down you know this to be true. Now I'm one of the fortunate ones. My hubby loves Christmas projects. I can't wait to show you our newest Christmas presents, but I'm going to wait until after Christmas, because my mom, dad and sister read my posts. "Ace" is so my male match, soul mate or whatever you want to call it. Just as an example of how wonderful he is, he had just been rubbing my back while I typed this and was reading it (I know Awwww!) He got kind of quiet and it hit me that he might take offense to what I wrote, which I was just generalizing... And I told him he was the exception to the rule. He went back upstairs and I started typing again and he came back down and told me he was sorry that he influenced what I was writing and to take it out.. How many men would have done that???? Maybe more than I imagine, but my past experience with my "ex" serves as my model... Anyway, now that I've completely changed subjects, I'll switch back to Christmas. So far my tree is up with only the lights on it, the lights are up outside, but I still need to finish my wreath and there are boxes all over the place and my dad gave my sister and I one of his Christmas villages, so I want to show them off. I haven't done any shopping, noodles, cool other little gifts (sorry my parents are still reading this and I'm not going to give the secret away), decorated what I need to decorate, but I will get it done, because that is what we do... Thanks for reading!